Tag Archives: puppies

I went on a dog adoption site because I am a masochist

So after reading about a pet adoption site styled like an online dating app in The Daily Dot, I went on the site, PawsLikeMe.com, took the matching quiz, and fell deeply in love with my matches. This is all for naught because

  1. I live in New York and don’t have space or a backyard
  2. My commute to work is about 45 minutes so I can’t come home to walk said dog
  3. My apartment doesn’t allow pets
  4. My roommate is allergic

That said, I really, really want a puppy. Guys, there’s one who’s cocking his head and staring at me mournfully all “please love me.” I get you, dude. Don’t we all just want to be loved? His foster mom describes him as “friendly, loyal, cuddly, and smart.” I am all those things, too! We would be BEST FRIENDS.

Anyway, if you want a puppy and have the means to support and house one, check out this site. If you want the puppy and don’t have the appropriate resources, stay away, because you will end up crying in the bathroom at work like I did.

Somebody will name her kid Scented Lotion someday

A guy I was chatting with online just told me his name is Sage, and I’m really not sure I can date someone named after an herb. Unless it’s like Marijuana or something. I’m not a stoner, but that would just be too good.

I’m not mad at this particular stranger. However, I am angry with his parents. Why do people name their children after inanimate objects? Last season on The Bachelor there was a 21-year-old single mother with a child named Kale. Way to ruin kale for me. Stop it, people.

In other news, if I ever have a dog I’m going to name it something like Jonathan or Susan.