It seems like just yesterday that Brock Turner, general scum of the earth and poor excuse for a human being, received a gentle massage of the wrist for raping an unconscious woman outside a party at Stanford. Brock is a precocious rapist, having committed the assault at the youthful age of 20. On Friday, he will be released from prison after serving half of his six-month sentence.

I fondly remember my mom cooking me a special meal when I returned home from college on breaks. Brock’s family will surely welcome him home from prison with a festive celebration. I’m sure it will take some encouragement, but perhaps with the help of therapy from whatever psychologist is willing to treat violent sex offenders, Brock will get his appetite back and enjoy a nice ribeye steak with his dad. Be sure to hide those pretzels and chips, Dad! After all, Brock’s loss of appetite was the real tragedy in this whole ordeal.