Felicity was my spirit American Girl. Yours was probably Samantha, and you’re wrong. Felicity basically could have prevented the Revolutionary War if her parents weren’t so mad at her for like stealing her own guitar. Samantha was an heiress at the age of nine, and her big accomplishment was befriending an orphan, I guess to show how generous of spirit she was to hang out with people who weren’t rich like her.

But Samantha is still better than those “girls of today” they have now. The whole point of American Girls was that they taught us about history and girl power. They’ve retired most of the originals (i.e. best ones), including Felicity and Addy, who were both pretty badass. My grandpa gave me Felicity for Chanukkah when I was seven, and then my other grandparents gave me Addy, so the competition for my love worked out pretty well for me.

Fun fact: when I was eight, I was the flower girl in my aunt’s wedding and wore Felicity’s Christmas dress (specially made in the same fabric as the bridesmaids’ dresses). I was so cool.

Also, I wrote to Pleasant Company and asked them to create a Jewish American Girl. They didn’t, but they did introduce a Chanukkah set, which was a blue and white outfit (because Israel) and a mini menorah and fake gelt. I guess they have a Jewish American Girl now, but it took them fifteen years after that letter, so maybe I don’t deserve congratulations for effecting change.

In summary, the world was a much better place when Pleasant Company was in charge. Also, the dolls only cost $80 then, and I get that that’s super expensive for a doll, but now they cost like $100,000, and okay inflation, but still.

Shout-out to Betches Love This, who recently ranked the American Girl dolls by betchiness and inspired this post. (I still disagree with their rankings, though.)