Ever since it was announced that Gilmore Girls might return for a short run on Netflix, I have been mostly anxious that I am being lied to. I want this to happen more than I want a puppy or Donald Trump to not be our next president. Okay just kidding about both those things, but I want it badly.
Demi Adejuyigbe of Gilmore Guys, a podcast you should definitely be listening to if you’re not, wrote this amazing list of suggestions for the revival on the Hairpin. I’d like to add a few of my own:
*It is revealed that season 7 was just one long, horrible dream.
*Mrs. Kim has been hiding Lane’s father in their attic Mrs. Rochester-style this whole time. Or maybe under Lane’s floorboards. He has been entertaining himself with Lane’s contraband music.
*Lorelei singlehandedly brings back the 90s.
*Rory and Lorelei each break up a few more of their ex-boyfriends’ marriages.
*Emily takes down the New York Times using only her words because they rejected Rory that one time.
*Luke introduces a delicious portobello burger at his diner.
*Paris becomes Hillary Clinton.
*April disappears because she was a useless plot device and annoying and no one ever liked her anyway.
So after reading about a pet adoption site styled like an online dating app in The Daily Dot, I went on the site, PawsLikeMe.com, took the matching quiz, and fell deeply in love with my matches. This is all for naught because
- I live in New York and don’t have space or a backyard
- My commute to work is about 45 minutes so I can’t come home to walk said dog
- My apartment doesn’t allow pets
- My roommate is allergic
That said, I really, really want a puppy. Guys, there’s one who’s cocking his head and staring at me mournfully all “please love me.” I get you, dude. Don’t we all just want to be loved? His foster mom describes him as “friendly, loyal, cuddly, and smart.” I am all those things, too! We would be BEST FRIENDS.
Anyway, if you want a puppy and have the means to support and house one, check out this site. If you want the puppy and don’t have the appropriate resources, stay away, because you will end up crying in the bathroom at work like I did.
I know everyone here is an avid follower of my blog, so of course you remember the time I accompanied my grandfather and his girlfriend to the Apple Store to buy some iPhones. Did you anticipate a part II? Because of course there is a part II.
So welcome to part II of the iPhone debacle, in which my grandfather loses the device that he doesn’t actually use, but to which he has become very attached over the preceding months. (He likes the flashlight feature. It helps him read menus in restaurants. So basically, this is a $700 flashlight.)
So one day I was at work, and received the most chilling GChat from my mom: “You got insurance for Papa’s phone, right?”
I had, of course. But here’s the problem: insurance doesn’t cover loss.
Anyway, this was like a week-long debacle, but at least this time I didn’t have a starring technical role in the production.
He later found it in his pants pocket. He had changed his pants.