Ever since it was announced that Gilmore Girls might return for a short run on Netflix, I have been mostly anxious that I am being lied to. I want this to happen more than I want a puppy or Donald Trump to not be our next president. Okay just kidding about both those things, but I want it badly.
*It is revealed that season 7 was just one long, horrible dream.
*Mrs. Kim has been hiding Lane’s father in their attic Mrs. Rochester-style this whole time. Or maybe under Lane’s floorboards. He has been entertaining himself with Lane’s contraband music.
*Lorelei singlehandedly brings back the 90s.
*Rory and Lorelei each break up a few more of their ex-boyfriends’ marriages.
*Emily takes down the New York Times using only her words because they rejected Rory that one time.
*Luke introduces a delicious portobello burger at his diner.
*Paris becomes Hillary Clinton.
*April disappears because she was a useless plot device and annoying and no one ever liked her anyway.